Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Diet Motivational quotes

 Motivation quotes for diet:

~ Take twice as long to eat half as much - Anonymous
~ Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork- English proverb
~ Let your head be more than a funnel to your stomach - German Proverb
~ In eating, a third of the stomach should be filled with food, a third with drink and the rest left empty - Talmud
~ Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage, the shorter the trip - Arnold H. Glasgow
~ Victory belongs to the most persevering - Napoleon
~ Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels- Author unknown
~ To lengthen your life, shorten your meals- proverb
~ We never repent of having eaten too little - Thomas Jefferson
~ I may be fat, but you're ygly, and I can diet! - author unknown
~ I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat- Jennifer Greene Duncan
~ Don't eat because something is eating you- Anonymous
~ It is a hard matter, my fellow citizens, to argue with the belly, since it has no ears. ~Plutarch
~ Diet cures more than the doctor - Maxim
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Diet Motivational quotes animated gif
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funny Diet Motivational quotes animated gif

10 Personality disorders at the office

1. The Chatterbox- The one who you're afraid to meet in the hallway. She is raping you to listen to every minor and marginal detail in her dull life, don't know to separate the chaff, and to her, all is important. Carries a long tedious monologues and not interested in response.

 
2. The Gossipmonger- Using other people's personal information as a weapon to promote himself. All day stirring a cauldron. Usually starts a conversation in "Just wanted to let you know." Tends to disguise his gossip as a concern: "I heard recently that Jane and her husband think about divorce. She seems so sad and it influence badly her performance. How can we help her, I'm very worried. "

 
3. The Sloth- Usually you'll find him searching the office without a goal, an emotionless facial expression and a package of blank pages in his hands. He does nothing but worry about being present at each staff meeting. He cares to look busy but if you approach him, he will always claim he has no time.


   


4. The Cheerleader - This girl has a weariless accumulation of energy. She's rattling herself around every second. All day telling herself and others about how she dedicated to her work and has no second to breathe. Identify her by the fake laughter heard for miles.

   
5. The Emotional - The emotional lives in constant fear of dismissal. Always think that nobody sees or appreciates her work. May cry uncontrollably at any given moment.


  

6. The Geek - He never sees sunlight. Usually lives in the basement of his parent's house reading and playing computer games. His only experience with women is Lara Croft. If you come to him with minimal problems like missing a toolbar, you get a four-hour lecture on information security. Playing every day on PS3 despite he was recently passed the age of fifteen. Comes to the office with a cup that says "There's nothing like mom." His house is full of computer parts scattered that he enjoys to dismantle and assemble again and again. Comes to the office in the morning with dark circles around his eyes because he spends his nights role-playing quests as heroes or Might & Magic .

7. The Foreigner Janitor - He is always from an exotic land. Although he immigrated two decades ago, he doesn't know a word in English (or at least that's what he says). You will find him lurking near the toilet all day cursing in his heart passersbys that destroyed the polish he made. Makes you angry glances every time you report that the soap runs out there.



8. The Girly Boy - Usually he's the only man that works in the human resources department together with twenty other girls. Usually you will find a flock of girls gathered around him and giggle. He replaces with them recipes in the work breaks. He drinks only diet and knows the difference between the Bazooka pink Fuchsia pink. Usually you will hear him gossip and say things like: "OMG did you see how Dana the bookkeeper gained at least ten pounds." He watches all the episodes of desperate housewives. He likes romantic comedies and wants to be Kylie Jenner's bff.

 

9. The Psychosomatic - Comes to the office in the morning and instead of saying good morning, opening the day with "my head hurts," which is to say during the day about 500 times an average. If you tell her to take a pill she'll say "No, no, I don't believe in pills." She is raping people to be empathic to her situation: "Wow! It was so hard for me to finish the presentation, I had eye sockets pressure, sinus and I started a little cough, but still managed by a human!". When she enters a doctor's appointment to complain about the fund feel unexplained throat and a beauty spot suspicious, the doctor sees on a computer that she was there two hundred times this month. Period is only five days a month, but you'll hear her complains about it all month. When she enters your room and begins to complain about her hurting back and, you secretly wish her in your heart to spend one day in an Egyptian prison and see what is pain.

 
10. The flatterer- He is always sucking up to bosses. He is the first to compliment them on a haircut or new clothes, he always agree with them, listening to them and laugh to tears for every old board joke they tell. You never know how he does it, how he became their best friend, and most frightens you is that he goes with them to have lunch, while you are eating alone or with junior members.

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