Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

The 35th of May- June 4

Some people refer to the date of June 4 as the date of 35 May, based on the famous novel by Erich Kastner, since that June 4 is the day that comes five days after May 30.
The 35th of May, or Conrad's Ride to the South is a novel published by Erich Kästner in 1931.

The novel recounts the adventures of Conrad, a schoolboy whose teacher gave him an assignment to write an essay about the South Sea, believing that as the boy was good in arithmetic, he must be "lacking in imagination".

Conrad's whimsical uncle, Mr. Ringelhuth, leads him to a journey to the South Sea, accompanied by Negro Caballo, a talking horse. The journey, which starts inside the uncle's wardrobe, passes through bizarre places such as the land of the lazy, whose inhabitants refrain from any exertion whatsoever and swallow pills in order to avoid the effort entailed by chewing food. Other fantastic places through which Conrad and his companions pass include the Automated City that is governed by futuristic technology (such as mobile phones with vocal dialing that were considered science fiction at the time the novel was published), the upside-down world governed by children who educate the adults and reprimand their misbehaved parents, and so forth.
All these adventures occur on the 35th of May, which makes sense as that date is prone to be filled with miracles and wonders.
In honor of this special date, please buy Erich Kästner's book (The 35th of May) or borrow it from your local library. Remember, magic is reality on May 35. Nothing is strange on that day.

June 4 is also Old Maids Day

Lost Sock Memorial Day- May 9th

Lost sock Memorial Day occurrs on May 9 (notice the date odd, right?) Every year. 
This day is dedicated to all the socks that were lost along the way, between the laundry basket and the washing machine and the clothes line or dryer. Individual socks always remain their spouse absent. Many people fail to address the problem of the disappearance of socks and stay with half-pairs, with few socks with broken heart who have lost their spouse. 
 There are several possible solutions, such as buy all the time the same pair of socks, wash in a mesh basket only socks, sort the washing to only socks, hang the stockings of the few on a special rack or store all the lonely socks in a box and occasionally to launch an exciting reunion of seperated Socks. 

You can also find a few uses for socks that left alone like:

  • As a sack of coins 
  • As a fabric packs for hair clips or pieces of cotton wool, etc. 
  • Churning cheese 
  • Socks for dog or cat (it's actually nice to have four different socks!) 
  • As a Pet toy 
  • Fill them and use them to make a pillow for needles and pins 
  • Make sleeping pads for dolls 
  • Make hands puppets

A matching socks website

May 9 is also Europe day

Nothing Day- January 16

The nothing day has been commemorated since 1973. The idea of ​​this day is literally not to do anything at all. In fact, there is no purpose or structure for the senseless celebration of this day.
The day of nothing was first proposed by the late Harold Coffin, a columnist for an American newspaper. He also set up an organization for nothing, registered in Capitol, California.
The Nothing Day is a satirical way of Coffin raising awareness that there are too many useless special days. As befitting, his organization still does not even have one meeting. The official celebrations of this day continued to stand as evidence of Coffin's ultimate failure.
So if on the day of nothing we do not actually celebrate anything, but still celebrate, we can say that we celebrate life itself. If you feel like it, you can have a party for no reason.
This day also raises some very interesting questions on the philosophical level. Can something really valuable come out of anything?

Joy Germ Day- January 8

We usually stay away from germs. No one wants to catch a disease, easy or difficult one.
But on January 8 there is a bacterium that has to breed and catch them all. This is the germ of joy.
The germ of joy is a small bacterium that starts smiling at people's faces, continues to laugh and spreads wherever you go. Imagine a day when everyone smiles and laughs. January 8 is the day.
If you want to participate in the joy germ day, put the sadness, anger and cynicism aside, go out into the world, smile and spread the joy around you. You don't need a special reason to be happy, be happy that you alive and pass the joy on, because it's contagious.

January 8 is also Bubble Bath Day

National Pass Gas Day- January 7

Believe it or not, January 7th is the day of the bloat, or the day of the fart in the vernacular. No wonder it comes the day after January 6, which is Bean Day, and legumes are known to cause gas to accumulate in the colon and be released quietly or loudly. Other foods that cause gas to accumulate in the digestive tract are cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, eggs and dairy products. The pressure builds up as foods like these break down and are digested in the colon, and it is released by gas bloating.

In honor of National Pass Gas Day, get some interesting facts about farts:

First of all, what are they good for? They relieve the pressure created in our colon by the food in various digestive states. If not released, they create pressure on the walls of the intestine and this can cause swelling, discomfort and constipation. This is not a dangerous situation, but it is definitely not pleasant.

A 1995 study (yes, there were studies on the subject) found that we fart 13.6 times a day. It is possible that the remaining 0.4 are gases that we were unable to expel properly. The average person emits 0.5 to 1.5 liters of gas a day.

Everyone is farting. Both women and men, both the Queen of England and Prime Ministers.

The main composition of the gases is five odorless gases: nitrogen, hydrogen, carbon dioxide, methane and oxygen. The gases become foul-smelling when compounds such as scatul, indole and sulfur are added to them.

The sound that the swelling makes when it comes out of the body is created as a result of the vibration of the anus and it varies depending on the thickness of the sphincter muscle and the speed of the gas coming out.

While it is not pleasant to release gases from the digestive tract, most of the foods that cause them are actually very good for us. Legumes, cruciferous vegetables like cabbage, bananas and all kinds of vegetables and fruits contain lots of vitamins and minerals that are essential for the body. So it's a shame to give them up because of this unpleasant side effect.

In most cultures, bloating is actually considered shameful and rude, so much so that there is a taboo on the subject. When a person farts in public he makes sure that no one notices that he has done it. When someone "runs away" in public, a loud fart can be very embarrassing but also funny to those around them.

The Romans in ancient Rome believed that deliberate restraint and avoidance of gas release harmed health, and whoever preferred the manners over health was a fool.

Some people have turned bullying into a profession. Mr Methane, for example, made a musical career out of his special gas-releasing talent. Link to Mr. Methane's Facebook page 

How to celebrate National Pass Gas Day?
Fart. And if you want to fart today more than average then eat healthy foods that help increase the amount of gas in the digestive tract.
Tell jokes about farts.
Do a fart contest between friends.
Plan a trip to the world championships in farts. They were previously held in Finland in 2013 and 2018.
You can spend the day in pranks: Put a whoopi cushion on someone's seat so that when he sits on it he will hear the sound of a fart.

Fart pillow - link

Diet Motivational quotes

 Motivation quotes for diet:

~ Take twice as long to eat half as much - Anonymous
~ Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork- English proverb
~ Let your head be more than a funnel to your stomach - German Proverb
~ In eating, a third of the stomach should be filled with food, a third with drink and the rest left empty - Talmud
~ Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage, the shorter the trip - Arnold H. Glasgow
~ Victory belongs to the most persevering - Napoleon
~ Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels- Author unknown
~ To lengthen your life, shorten your meals- proverb
~ We never repent of having eaten too little - Thomas Jefferson
~ I may be fat, but you're ygly, and I can diet! - author unknown
~ I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat- Jennifer Greene Duncan
~ Don't eat because something is eating you- Anonymous
~ It is a hard matter, my fellow citizens, to argue with the belly, since it has no ears. ~Plutarch
~ Diet cures more than the doctor - Maxim
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funny Diet Motivational quotes animated gif

World Joke Day - July 1st

A joke is a funny story with a surprising punch that makes anyone who hears it laugh. Laughter is good for health, creates a good and pleasant atmosphere and brings people together.
So many problems would be solved in the world if people had more sense of humor.

International Joke Day officially began in the United States and was later adopted by many countries.
If you thought the jokes belonged in the modern world, you're wrong. Get a joke from ancient Greece:
"A hairdresser, a bald man and a scattered professor set out on a journey together. They set up camp to sleep at night and decide that every few hours someone else will be awake to keepguard. When the hairdresser watches the camp, he is bored, and amuses himself by shaving the professor's head. Wakes the professor who's turn to watch. The professor touches his head and says, "What a fool this hairdresser is, he woke the bald man instead of me!"
Greece also boasts the first comedy club, though its purpose was to share jokes between friends rather than one-man shows in front of an audience like we have now.

It is likely that already the first person told jokes when he looked at his figure reflected from a water reservoir and criticized his messy hair.
How to celebrate International Jokes Day?

Tell jokes to friends, co-workers, family members, on social media and wherever you want. Finding jokes is not a problem, there are lots of websites with good jokes.
Enjoy the day of the jokes and remember that laughter is healthy but contagious, free but can sometimes be expensive and is also good for the diet - when you laugh for a quarter of an hour you burn 50 calories!

10 Personality disorders at the office

1. The Chatterbox- The one who you're afraid to meet in the hallway. She is raping you to listen to every minor and marginal detail in her dull life, don't know to separate the chaff, and to her, all is important. Carries a long tedious monologues and not interested in response.

2. The Gossipmonger- Using other people's personal information as a weapon to promote himself. All day stirring a cauldron. Usually starts a conversation in "Just wanted to let you know." Tends to disguise his gossip as a concern: "I heard recently that Jane and her husband think about divorce. She seems so sad and it influence badly her performance. How can we help her, I'm very worried. "

3. The Sloth- Usually you'll find him searching the office without a goal, an emotionless facial expression and a package of blank pages in his hands. He does nothing but worry about being present at each staff meeting. He cares to look busy but if you approach him, he will always claim he has no time.


4. The Cheerleader - This girl has a weariless accumulation of energy. She's rattling herself around every second. All day telling herself and others about how she dedicated to her work and has no second to breathe. Identify her by the fake laughter heard for miles.

5. The Emotional - The emotional lives in constant fear of dismissal. Always think that nobody sees or appreciates her work. May cry uncontrollably at any given moment.


6. The Geek - He never sees sunlight. Usually lives in the basement of his parent's house reading and playing computer games. His only experience with women is Lara Croft. If you come to him with minimal problems like missing a toolbar, you get a four-hour lecture on information security. Playing every day on PS3 despite he was recently passed the age of fifteen. Comes to the office with a cup that says "There's nothing like mom." His house is full of computer parts scattered that he enjoys to dismantle and assemble again and again. Comes to the office in the morning with dark circles around his eyes because he spends his nights role-playing quests as heroes or Might & Magic .

7. The Foreigner Janitor - He is always from an exotic land. Although he immigrated two decades ago, he doesn't know a word in English (or at least that's what he says). You will find him lurking near the toilet all day cursing in his heart passersbys that destroyed the polish he made. Makes you angry glances every time you report that the soap runs out there.

8. The Girly Boy - Usually he's the only man that works in the human resources department together with twenty other girls. Usually you will find a flock of girls gathered around him and giggle. He replaces with them recipes in the work breaks. He drinks only diet and knows the difference between the Bazooka pink Fuchsia pink. Usually you will hear him gossip and say things like: "OMG did you see how Dana the bookkeeper gained at least ten pounds." He watches all the episodes of desperate housewives. He likes romantic comedies and wants to be Kylie Jenner's bff.


9. The Psychosomatic - Comes to the office in the morning and instead of saying good morning, opening the day with "my head hurts," which is to say during the day about 500 times an average. If you tell her to take a pill she'll say "No, no, I don't believe in pills." She is raping people to be empathic to her situation: "Wow! It was so hard for me to finish the presentation, I had eye sockets pressure, sinus and I started a little cough, but still managed by a human!". When she enters a doctor's appointment to complain about the fund feel unexplained throat and a beauty spot suspicious, the doctor sees on a computer that she was there two hundred times this month. Period is only five days a month, but you'll hear her complains about it all month. When she enters your room and begins to complain about her hurting back and, you secretly wish her in your heart to spend one day in an Egyptian prison and see what is pain.

10. The flatterer- He is always sucking up to bosses. He is the first to compliment them on a haircut or new clothes, he always agree with them, listening to them and laugh to tears for every old board joke they tell. You never know how he does it, how he became their best friend, and most frightens you is that he goes with them to have lunch, while you are eating alone or with junior members.

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